Roses and Terrible Tremors

Roses and Terrible Tremors

[Sammy]

Nightmares have haunted me for decades but I try to be optimistic about my dreams. Aren’t nightmares just tremors of the important parts of the day? I don’t believe they have any meaning, none whatsoever. I could be lying but if so for the sake of my sanity. I don’t enjoy the other side of me. He induces the blood curling dreams that taunts me constantly. I’m Sammy; I’m just a normal guy, aside from not having any living blood relatives and relapsing numerously. I’m always in and out of the hospital, fiends for morphine and other addictive drugs the emergency ward bans from the real world from ever touching. Each pill is like a rose, beautiful and sweet to the sense of smell. I could pluck each pill from the container like a rose, careful to not prick myself with a thorn [Take to many] and simply enjoy the euphoria the roses [Drugs] give me. I could say I don’t enjoy being sick, but in reality I do. I can’t stand a moment being myself. Because I’m not myself, I’m split into two figures. One side of me is calm, tolerable of the world and the other half is vicious and craves the wickedness within me. I’m baffled by all this. Perhaps I’m a schizophrenic. I have no idea really what I’m except I’m alive. I suppose that’s all that matters right? Being alive, being able to see the very next day. To take in a large amount of air deeply into my lungs, suppressing it and coolly exhaling. Without air there would be no life. It’s the main source of survival. I guess I appreciate the little things in life that many folks take for granted. You have to appreciate life in order to live your life. Appreciate the blue sky, the bright and bountiful sun, the clean fresh air and the small giggles and laughter from our future generation. Birds are the sweet violin playing to our ears, and the wind is the beloved soundtrack to our life. Enjoy the earth and her grass. Watch the stars as they tell stories. All of these are worth living for. To experience things you’ll never be able to ever see again. Even though I abuse my mind with drugs, but it’s only to fight off the nightmares. I hate the nightmares. I really do.